Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

ugh ugh ugh. something is wrong with me lately! :( well technically not wrong. I have what they call a split personality disorder.
Something like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. i guess.
No no no. I'm not an angel on one side and an evil menacing devil on the other. LOL Frankly and most surprisingly I crave leading a quiet life.
I know I know. *jaw drops* right? *eyebrows raised* right? and you'll be thinking "How can this be?!" The most talkative, crazy, social, bananas girl wants a quiet life? She might as well start by shutting up first. LOL.
But to be honest, during my younger days (drat i sound old -_-) all I could think about is to be popular. Popular. POPULAR. You know, something like the celebrity-dazzling-glamorous kind of life, except with no paparazzi. I wanted everyone to know me, I wanted to have more friends. I'm damn honest and sincere here man. Well, I kinda got what I wanted. I'm not exactly VERY popular like other people but at least when I make new friends they know who I am. And honestly again, I felt really flattered.
*major bimbo-airhead over here.
But here I am, whining and complaining how I want peace and quiet. Your first reaction would be : -___-t bitch STFU man. why complain when you've got what you wanted and what many others want? And your second reaction would be : Bah. attention seeker.
I don't know mannn. The only reason why I'm actually writing this is because, there was this junior of mine, whom have been close to me once last year, posted something on my Facebook wall. She said that we're becoming strangers.
Strangers.What a strange, foreign word it was to me.
And later after that, I saw this old, very good friend of mine in tuition and I actually hesitated to walk to her. She didn't see me. But I didn't feel like going up to her and saying hi. I just lost that spark to talk.
I rarely text nowadays. But when I do, I text old friends, trying to build up bridges again, trying to rekindle that flame. Struggling, no it's not easy, and I think I'm slowly succeeding. It's been too long since I reconnected with all of them. But when we all talk or text, I feel as if I'm back in the past with them. :')
There are days when I have to struggle to talk to everyone. Like for an instance, when I'm talking animatedly to someone in school and someone else tries to get my attention, I just brush them aside. EVIL ME. And only later, I would regret doing so. It was unintentional. But I feel as if I've just torn down another bridge. There are days when I'm so lazy to reply texts, Facebook messages, tweets. There are days when I actually enjoy listening to the radio with a good book all by myself. There are days when I like being alone.
Those are the days that I've lost my words.
Not all my bestfriends are as close to me as when we first hit off. Partly my fault since I hardly text them and plus most of them, like me, are so caught up with their lives and they hardly text each other too. Though I receive an occasional text from most of them, most of the times I would be busy with God-knows-what. And I feel bad. What kind of friend am I?

I don't know who actually reads my blog here. But you can throw rotten eggs at me if you want. :) But if any of you knows how I feel, do message me or inbox me or something so at least I know I'm not the only mentally insane one here. :/